


Spectacular

by dormiensa



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Family Dynamics, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 16:01:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6861946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dormiensa/pseuds/dormiensa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Weazies (Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes) has hit a new milestone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spectacular

**Author's Note:**

  * For [UnseenLibrarian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnseenLibrarian/gifts).



Fred and George sauntered into the kitchen of The Burrow with wide grins.

 

“What’s got you two so smug about?” asked Ron.

 

“We’ve beat Zonko’s and set a new record for the total number of inventions banned from Hogwarts and the Ministry.”

 

“You’d better not have left any around the house,” said Molly in her or-else tone.

 

“Oh, no need to worry about that, Mum.  You’re way too young to need them anyway.  Dad, however…”

 

“Would never be a subject of one of our pranks,” interjected George, at Molly’s frown.

 

“So tell us about this newly-banned product.  A new invention or one of your established ones that has sadly gotten into the wrong hands?” said Bill.

 

“A new one,” said Fred.  He directed his attention to Ron and Ginny.  “You remember those funny spectacles Looney used to wear in school?  Well, she was always saying how they gave her a better perspective on things.”

 

“So, we figured we’d make a line of joke specs—”

 

“To do just that!  We call them Perspectacles.”

 

“Hermione was telling us how some Muggles suffer an eye problem called colour blindness, where they can only see certain colours—”

 

“So, we made some that allows you to only see certain colours or in black and white—”

 

“Like the Percys of the world.  Have to say, Perce, after walking five minutes in your shoes, it’s no wonder you have no sense of humour—”

 

“Dunno how you manage to get out of bed, actually—”

 

“At least I’m making a positive contribution towards improving people’s lives—” Percy began hotly.

 

“What, by regulating how thick glass potion bottles must be?  Oh yeah, that _really_ makes a difference,” said Ron.

 

“Yeah, thanks a lot for that, Perce.  You know we’ve had to pay an extra 10% to our supplier of said bottles?”

 

“And the owner of the Apothecary is ready to hex your future firstborn—”

 

“Although he won’t for the next week or so.  He’s a bit preoccupied with the mess in his brewing room—”

 

“What with his grandson replacing his regular specs with one of our colour-limiting ones—”

 

“That caused him to add the wrong ingredient to a cauldron of Sleeping Draught and turn it into some sort of self-frothing cleaning potion that overflowed his entire shop—”

 

“At least it didn’t explode.  Bet that would’ve happened in the Potions classroom at school—”

 

“And no Snape to supervise Ron to clean it up without magic.”

 

“Ha-ha,” said Ron.

 

“So, why did the Ministry ban your new product?” asked Ginny.

 

“Well, one of the Perspecs makes you see the ghost of an authoritative figure wagging a disapproving finger whenever the wearer does something naughty.”

 

“Unfortunately, a pair was given to that drunken old hag in the Wizengamot who’s constantly harping about banning imported Snark ’n Snap-dragons from America.  Remember how Skeeter reported that the plant the hag was gifted bit her nephew?  Well, ol’ Xenophilius claims she couldn’t win an argument with it.  Anyway, dunno what she did after she put on the specs—no one will tell us—but she went into hysterics in her office, screaming about seeing the ghost of her dad, and had to be sent to Mungo’s.”

 

“You somehow incorporated Hermione’s Boggart-like Hex into the specs, didn’t you?  Impressive.  How did you manage to convince her to part with it?”  Bill had on his official Gringotts voice.

 

“Oh, we got Malfoy to get her tipsy and spell a prototype, which we then just replicated.”  George grinned, waving a dismissive hand.  “And we gave him the first pair we duplicated.  I’m told he almost died of laughter when ol’ Lucius ran about the manor screaming that Voldemort was back.”

 

The entire kitchen exploded with laughter.

 

Trying hard to contain his laughter, Arthur said, “Now boys, we know you never create or sell products that cause real harm to customers and their unsuspecting victims, but don’t let your cleverness get away with you.  Madam Hogg may not seek retribution, but the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes has a new Head, and she’s quite strict.”

 

“You mean ol’ Cockett finally retired from Acks and Cacks?”  Fred exclaimed.

 

“So who’s the new Hack?” asked Ron.

 

“Millicent Bulstrode,” said Percy, grimly.

 

“What?!  How the h—sorry, Mum—”

 

“Her father and Cockett are old friends—”

 

Fred whined.  “Oh great.  Not an ounce of humour in that one—”

 

“A perfect match for Perce, then.  You should ask her out sometime, Perce.  Hey, we’ll even sneak a pair of our special blind date Perspecs to her so you’ll appear all rosy and bright—”

 

“Good idea, George!  Maybe she’ll lift the ban on the line when she sees the good they can do—”

 

“Shut up!  Or I’ll tell send an anonymous tip about the Furnunculus Fudge,” said Percy.

 

“They _are_ a perfect match!”

 

“No Slytherins in the family, especially not that one.  Can you imagine the chaos that would result if she and Hermione were in the same room for Christmas?”  said Ginny.

 

The twins, Ron, and Bill answered with identical, evil grins.

 

“That’s quite enough!” said Molly.  “Now, finish eating your food.  That reminds me: now that you’ve been dating that nice Patil girl for a few months, don’t you think it’s time you brought her home for dinner, Percy?” 

 

The table erupted.

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: eyeglasses


End file.
